Why are you doing an F.A.Q. section? Are you really frequently asked all of these questions?
Uh, no. I just enjoy feeling like I’m important, so I come up with bunches of random questions that I kind of wish someone would ask. Plus, EVERY website has an FAQ section. You honestly think that they’re asked all of those?
So you’re a writer.
Not a question.
So, you are a writer?
Why yes, yes I am!
Are you published?
No.
Do you want to be published?
No, I’d rather sit and spend my time working on something that won’t be shared with anybody but my multiple personalities. I am a PERSONAL artist. Leave me alone.
Were you joking in that last answer?
You’re really asking me that? Uh, yes.
Do you have an agent?
Not yet.
Do you consider yourself funny?
I consider myself human, which implies some funniness at some point during my life.
Will you sign my book?
Sure! I forge J.K. Rowling’s signature REALLY well.
What time is it now?
11:35 PM.
Mac or PC?
iMac, PowerMac, Macbook and two iPods later, you’re SERIOUSLY asking this question?
Do you want an iPad?
I prefer iTampon, but I’ll try an iPad. I hear they sync with your computer! Didn’t you see the commercial?
What color are your nails right now?
Black Onyx.*
What are you reading at the moment?
The sign above my door. It says ‘Keller.’
And nothing else?
Never start a sentence with ‘and’ if you can help it. That particular butchering could have been prevented. Shame on you! But to answer the implied question, *glares* yes, at the moment I’m reading Maureen Johnson’s 13 Little Blue Envelopes (re-reading, actually) and Diana Peterfreund’s Under the Rose. You should buy them.
Are you listening to anything right now?
Billie Holiday’s Any Old Time- wait, song change. Leeland’s Sound of Melodies.
Do you have a favorite band?
Not really. I like a (truthfully) wide variety of music, so it mostly changes with my mood, or what I’m writing. I love Coldplay (to a point, especially X&Y and Prospekt’s March,) Norah Jones, Yes, ELO, Snow Patrol, Able, Leeland, ABBA, Red, She & Him, and almost anything from the 1940’s and 50’s. I was also trained in opera, so I appreciate Puccini on a wacked out level.
Ooh, will you sing for us?
No.
PLEASE?
...
What is your favorite movie?
While You Were Sleeping.
What is your favorite TV show?
Gleemore Girls. Stars Hollow is suddenly in Ohio, and Rory and Lorelai spend their days singing about coffee, REALLY FAST. HOW AWESOME WOULD THAT BE?
Favorite Author?
Anyone with a great sense of humor, nice hair and- wait, hold on... That’s my eHarmony profile.
Hottest Author?
It’s close between Christoper Paolini and Hannah Moskowitz. As I didn’t REALLY get into C.P.’s books, Hannah wins, but I’d still rather make out with Christopher. (You understand, don’t you Hannah, darling?)
Favorite Book?
Matilda, by Roald Dahl. Plus about 500 others.
Favorite person to follow on Twitter? Make that people... @MaureenJohnson, @LibbaBray, @HannahMosk, @NaturallySteph, @TheTabbyCatt, @Blulpstksamurai and @SusanJSteward. Oh, and @GloriaTangerine, but she’s private, so I win and YOU don’t. Yes, I realize all of those are girls. I guess we just talk tweet more? (There are others that I LOVE, but I can’t list everyone!)
Why are you called ‘TheKnittingNerd?’
I knit and I like computers and John Green. Neeeeext!
Why is your blog called ‘Your Daily Espresso?
Because I love coffee, and it should be inhaled daily. Dur.
What is your favorite place in the world?
Seattle, or the beach.
Wait- don’t you live in North Carolina?
Something like that.
Do you have an accent?
Do you have a boyfriend?
What’s the name of that movie with Meryl Streep and Alec Baldwin and Steve Martin?
Do you have a girlfriend?
Only in the very traditional sense of the word. You know, those people you gossip with,** and talk about your complicated boy problems with, and sing into your hairbrushes... simultaneously. with.
Will you go on a date with me?
*checks post-it note* Doesn’t look like you’re on the list. Of course if you ARE on that list,*** sure. You know my number!
Are you religious?
Not in the traditional sense of the word. I have a personal relationship with a God who cares about the tiny things like what flavor creamer I use in my coffee in the mornings, (hazelnut) and the BIG things, like college and books and stuff. He sent his only son to give up his entire life, just so that at the end of the day and at the end of my life, I can be with them. It blows me away, and through that love I want to follow God’s plan for my life, because he, you know... cares and knows what’s best.
Why do bad things happen to good people?
I wish I knew. But what I DO know, is that God is there to lift the burdens away, and hold my hand when all else is failing around me.
Are you a night person?
*phone rings* Me: He-hello? Groggy voice: MOLLY. IT’S THREE IN THE MORNING. YOU DO NOT NEED TO BE UP. GO TO BED. Me: Oh! Sorry mom! Good night! Sleep well! Again!
Where was I?
What’s your favorite food?
Chinese of any kind, or pizza. Or Burritos. OR- does coffee count?
Favorite ice cream flavor?
Vanilla bean, or Ben & Jerry’s Dublin Mudslide. Ooh, or cookie dough. But hands’ down, my absolute favorite is called Music Camp Obsession, which is served at only one location in the world, at this tiny, roadside shop in my area called Dolly’s. Come visit during the summer and I’ll take you there!
If you were a crayon, what color would you be?
A blue or green...
Will you read my manuscript/novel?
Maybe. Shoot me an email, and we’ll see!
Will you co-write a novel with me?
Sorry, I have enough on my on my plate to try and co-write. I’ll read it once you’re famous, though, and boost your confidence with tweets of encouragement! :)
Will you review my book?
If it’s a published (or soon to be published) work and you’ll get me a copy, sure! Check out my Review Policy.
Do you chew gum?
Sometimes.
What’s your SSN?
Stalker much?
Do you speak another language?
Does HTML count?
Ever met anyone famous?
On Twitter, yes. In real life, “Ned” from Ghost Whisperer, the Governor, Lt. Governor and Attorney General (as of the 2009 elections) of Virginia, a couple of Congressman and Senators, and... That’s it so far.
Are you done yet?
You make me feel so loved.
Seriously, though. Done?
Fine. Whatever.
Diva.
Cork of my creative genius.
Shortie.
Insecure.
Perpetuator.
No comment.
*OPI. Keep up.
**Gossip is bad. Unless it’s true.
***and I doubt you are,
