Thursday, May 5, 2011

Did you know that senior year is stressful?

I have a lovely post with the second half of my New York pictures all organized and pretty- I even added another dimension to the post itself, which should be interesting... But that's not now. I haven't been posting lately because, SHOCKER I've been busy. But this stress goes beyond just finals and into something greater and deeper. This is it. This is my last month of my last year in High School. I'm terrified. I want it to be OVER. I can't wait. I have written nothing in months, and that thought makes me cringe almost as much as the 180 emails in my inbox. I sometimes immerse myself into one niche, or focus all of my free time into one being or one thing because I can't imagine spreading out my severely limited time over something broad and sweeping. I'm holding on, barely, but I'm almost done.

I've also had crazyawesomemajorstrangsadnew experiences on a personal level. Someone came into my life for a short period of time; it was real, it was personal and like that, it was over. Another friend and I had to make some very raw, and very sensitive decisions, and the future is is looking terrifying right now. More than one person's heart was broken, and someone's heart is going to be shattered in the upcoming months, and I wish beyond anything, that I could prevent it. I was "introduced" (via email) to one of my future roommates, and I am beyond blessed to know her- our apartment is going to rock. College will be amazing. And then there's another person who showed up out of a lovely, faraway somewhere, bringing Flowers and Hot Tamales. You know who you are.

So I sit here. I have three papers to finish up tonight. I have work tomorrow, I have geometry, and the disadvantage of not getting more than five hours of sleep the past two nights because time slips away when you're talking to friends.

I love my life.

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